Why You’ll Never Finally Feel Enough
- Charlotta Boker
- May 24
- 3 min read
This story contains themes such as self-improvement/esteem and body image. Please read at your own discretion, and seek help when you are struggling with or triggered by one of the themes discussed at;
“Glow up before New Years Day.”
“New era, new you.”
“Become someone unrecognisable.”
We are constantly bombarded with these kinds of messages because that's the
world we live in; a world of constant pressure to transform.
Glow up culture isn’t new. It’s the “ugly duckling” fairytale. It’s every movie
makeover scene where the character finally gets the guy after taking off her
glasses and putting on mascara. Let me give you some examples, The Princess Diaries, She's all that, A Cinderella story ... But here’s the difference: back then, the
transformation was a single event. Now, it’s expected all the time- every season,
every trend cycle, and every “new” era. You don’t just glow up once; you have to glow up constantly. And somehow, it’s never enough.
We’re taught to chase this idea: once I finally look the way I want, I’ll be happy.
Finally, I’ll feel free. Finally, I’ll get everything I’ve been waiting for. But that
“finally” never comes. The goalposts keep moving, and there is no finish line.
There will always be a new challenge to become hotter, a new product that will
“Solve” all your insecurities, always a new way you’re supposed to rebrand
yourself. One month it’s “hot girl summer,” then-to it’s “that girl autumn.” Social media sells us the idea that we are a problem to be solved, to always rebrand, always to reinvent, to always repackage ourselves with the new blush, the pretty top, the hair style and so on. That’s why the “better you” is always just out of reach. A study from 2014 already showed that spending 20 minutes using Facebook gave users a bad mood. One reason is that we are not only exposed to glossy fashion photos but comparing ourselves to peers makes the feeling of not being enough even stronger.
Now don’t get me wrong, Self-improvement is good! It’s healthy to build small
habits that make you feel more like yourself, whether that’s putting on
perfume to feel good throughout the day, drinking more water, reading, or
showing up as a better friend. Those things matter. Growth matters, but glow
up culture twists that idea. It doesn’t encourage you to grow from a place of
self-respect, it pressures you to fix yourself from a place of self-hatred. It tells
you the little things aren’t enough, that you must reinvent yourself entirely,
that who you are right now isn’t worthy.
That’s why people feel good for a while, then fall back into the cycle of not
feeling good enough. You buy the products, do the challenge, feel that brief
high, and then it fades; waiting for the next glow up trend with the newest “holy
grail” products to save you.
And here’s the thing: most people don’t want to hear “you don’t need
fixing.” They want to enjoy the illusion that there’s a fix, a product, a challenge, an
entirely new identity, that will finally give them the life they crave. That’s why
glow up culture survives, because hope sells better than the truth.
We all have our own traits and qualities that make us unique. Glow up culture
drives people to believe they must erase that individuality, squeeze themselves
into a specific box, and perform a single “acceptable” version of beauty.
So, hear this:
You are not a brand.
You are not a project.
You don’t need fixing.
You are already enough.
References
The Skill Collective. (n.d.). Low self-esteem and social comparison. Retrieved December 2025, from https://theskillcollective.com/blog/low-self-esteem-social-comparison
British Vogue. (n.d.). Toxic glow-up culture. Retrieved December 2025, from https://www.vogue.co.uk/beauty/article/toxic-glow-up-culture
The Oxford Blue. (n.d.). Beauty-sick: On glow-up culture and the paradox of aspirational beauty. Retrieved December 2025, from https://theoxfordblue.co.uk/beauty-sick-on-glow-up-culture-and-the-paradox-of-aspirational-beauty/
Elsevier. (n.d.). [Article abstract]. ScienceDirect. Retrieved December 2025, from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S174014451400148X
Hayami, G. (n.d.). Dancing in the flames [Painting]. Retrieved December 2025, from https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/dancing-in-the-flames-important-cultural-property/XwG4Nt_ERsBJeQ?hl=en
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