Benevolent Sexism: The Sexism that Slips Between the Cracks

Valentina Merla
Jan 24, 2024
3 min read

Sexism is generally understood to be discrimination and oppression based on sex, generally pointed towards women. However, this kind of sexism can be more accurately defined as malevolent, or hostile, sexism which is exemplified by misogyny. This encompasses outwardly hostile behaviour towards women who challenge gender norms since misogyny is founded on the belief that men are superior to women and challenges to this status quo would threaten men’s position in society. Nonetheless, malevolent sexism is only one of the two polarities of sexism, the other being benevolent sexism.

As the name implies, benevolent sexism manifests primarily in men’s attitudes towards women and is based on the idea that women are defined as a weak, beautiful and nurturing sex who need to be protected by men who are the opposite of these traits. This is prevalent in everyday occurrences that most wouldn’t bat an eye at such as defining women as ‘mothers’ or ‘wives’ rather than people, objectifying women by focusing praise around their looks and beauty, or assuming that women hold positions of lower value like presuming that they are nurses rather than doctors. Benevolent sexism is more difficult to detect since it upholds beliefs that are deeply rooted in society, yet these beliefs are unfactual and harmful to achieving gender equality because despite its name, benevolent sexism is anything but.

Benevolent sexism reinforces patriarchal beliefs about gender and their appropriate characteristics and roles in society. Through subtle and implicit actions and remarks, benevolent sexism upholds three central ideas that diminish and oppress women.

Firstly, benevolent sexism upholds the idea that men are responsible for women. This is often seen through men opening doors for women or helping women with tasks that they are entirely able to accomplish on their own. While these may seen like a show of good manners or very “gentlemanly”, small actions like these propagate ideas of women’s weakness and subordination to men which can be extended to anyone who presents remotely feminine —the reason why gender inequality is inextricably linked with LGBTQ+ rights. Other shows of chivalry like always expecting men to pay for dates, reinforce traditional gender roles without considering individual preferences or equality.

Consequently, benevolent sexism strengthens the concept that men and women are opposite to one another, with complementary traits that are exclusive to gender and define the sexes. For women, these are characteristics such as being caring, a homemaker, frail, innocent, and beautiful, which push women to assume more domestic or nurturing roles. This notion underlies many historical restrictions on women's potential outside the house and forces them into supporting positions at work, despite the fact that it may seem benign or even flattering.

Lastly, benevolent sexism objectifies women and supports the idea that women’s lives revolve around men. This view highlights men’s dependence on women as men are seen as complete with heterosexual romance while diminishing women’s societal role to ‘fulfil men’s needs.’ As a result, women are objectified and reduced from being valuable, autonomous individuals to mere objects. This is frequently observed in casual conversations, like when someone remarks on how attractive a woman is or says her partner is lucky.

So how do we stop benevolent sexism?

Like with dismantling any patriarchal beliefs, putting a halt to benevolent sexism will be difficult, but there are ways that we can all make a difference. The first step to stopping benevolent sexism is education and raising awareness on what constitutes benevolent sexism and its harms on gender equality, especially since many passing remarks or daily actions that are examples of benevolent sexism go undetected. Thus, make sure to educate yourself as well as those around you —don’t be afraid of calling someone out for spreading benevolent sexist ideals through their words or actions.

Secondly, reflect! Due to the deeply rooted nature of benevolent sexist ideals in society, it can be difficult to recognise that you are contributing to the problem. Many people perpetuate benevolent sexism through daily actions that may seem harmless, nonetheless, it is important to realise the ideas you reinforce through such actions and change these behaviours to reflect values of gender equality.

Through actively correcting other people’s behaviour, as well as your own, and raising awareness about the issue of benevolent sexism, we can help break down societal beliefs and stereotypes about gender. This can free women from the narrow societal roles and opportunities they are given, bringing us another step closer to achieving true equality amongst the sexes.